Meet Sasuke Uchiha
by highonpixistixs
Summary: Meet Sasuke Uchiha, 17 years old, the last surviving member of the Uchiha clan, Konoha prodigy, number one sought after bachelor, exmissing nin, yada, yada, yada and also as of today he is the biggest idiot in the world. Yaoi, emoness, and a horny Naruto.


I wrote this a long time ago, this was actually supposed to be my first story but I kind of forgot that I wrote it. –sweatdrop- So I found it today when I was browsing through my stuff and I was like what the heck, let's post it!

Meg: _You shouldn't have done that, you know. Your readers are going to be mad when they find out you posted a new story when you haven't even updated your other stories yet. They're going to be pretty pissed off._

Me: o.O…shit I forgot about that.

Meg:_ Whatever just remember when they do find you, I don't know you. –puts on a dark trench coat and sunglasses-_

Me: You're my muse! You're _inside_ my head! How could you not know me?!

Meg:_ -looks around- What was that? I think it was the wind…-walks away-_

Me: Grr…Oh yeah… well shut up! (the only come back she can come up with)

-x-x-x-

Disclaimer: No, I don't own it. You should know by now, so shoo annoying lawyers.

Warning: Sasuke being emo, but in a 'let's point at him and laugh' kind of way…oh and OOCness too on Sasuke's part but you know you like it when he's OOC it's much more funnier!!

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**Meet Sasuke Uchiha…**

By pixistixs-chan

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_**Meet Sasuke Uchiha...the biggest idiot in the world:**_

You see that pathetic little excuse for a human being bashing his head against that tree over there? The one with the perfect black hair, and the dark brooding eyes, yeah him. That right there is the biggest idiot in the world. Why, you ask? Well I'll tell you why. This _idiot_ has done a lot of stupid and unreasonable things in his life, but nothing could compare to just how much of an idiot he proved himself to be today.

Well I should probably tell you who this idiot is first. So I will. Meet Sasuke Uchiha, 17 years old, the last surviving member of the Uchiha clan, Konoha prodigy, number one sought after bachelor, ex-missing nin, yada, yada, yada and also as of today he is the biggest idiot in the world.

Now I can't list every idiotic thing he has done in his life (like for example: that annoying Itachi was probably a bad idea and that he might just snap one day and do something rash like oh I don't know _wipe out the whole clan..._). But I will however list the _biggest_ mistakes he has done is his lifetime:

1) Get this. He thought that just because his best friend beat someone he couldn't beat that he in turn couldn't beat said best friend making him weak and proving Itachi's words right. Now did that make any sense at all? No? Didn't think so. (life isn't always like the transitive property moron!)

2) Thus believing this bullshit he somehow got it in his head that the only way he can get stronger is to go to Orouchimaru which by the way to any sensible person who looked at him knew that he just screamed _Child Molester! _But not Sasuke. Why? Because Sasuke is an idiot.

3) So this _idiot_ betrayed his own village at the age of 13 leaving his one and only best friend worried sick and not to mention a lot of people mad at him.

4) If that wasn't bad enough he tried to _kill_ his best friend with the Chidori to obtain more power. Now how much of a selfish bastard do you have to be to do that?

5) The last idiotic thing he has done will come as a shocker to a lot of you…the truth is, this idiot is _hopelessly_ _in_ _love_ with his 'one and only best friend' (you know the one that he tried to kill?) but he was too cowardly to ever tell him his true feelings.

But sadly that is not all, that dismal, miserable piece of _crap_ is…me. I'm Sasuke Uchiha: the biggest idiot in the world.

Why am I being so hard on myself? Well I should probably explain what happened that brought me into this state of depression…So let me tell you what happened while I continue to bang my head on this here tree right here…It all started two days ago on a fateful mission that changed everything…

-x-x-x-

_Flashback: Two days ago…_

Today was the day that he could finally go on missions. It was the end of his yearlong punishment for betraying Konoha. He was still a genin and had to work his way up to his teammates level. All of Rookie 9 except him was either a jounin or anbu by now. The dobe himself was an Anbu and well on his way to making captain. It was insulting to know that the dobe had actually surpassed him in rank. But that didn't matter he would soon catch up. And as luck would have it he was put in his old team with some new guy named Sai, who looks just like Sasuke. _God I hate him already…_

He didn't know the specifics of the mission except that they were supposed to go to Sand to deliver something, what that thing was, was still a mystery to him. He walked down the streets of Konoha to the gate to meet up with his teammates. Especially Naruto. He had seen him only a couple of times in the whole year because he was stuck in house arrest and Naruto was always on missions. But the few times that he did come were always with Sakura. They barely talked to each other; Sakura did most of the talking for them both. If only he could talk to him alone…

He reached the gate and saw Sai and Sakura already standing there with their bags. Sakura greeted him in her usual cheery way and Sai just nodded at his direction.

"Hn" he replied as he stood against the wall. He didn't see the blonde anywhere and Kakashi was nowhere to be seen as well but that was typical considering his reputation. After a few minutes he saw them coming, Kakashi holding his trademark Come Come Paradise book and Naruto was…_Holy shit_, his hand went to his face to close his open, gaping mouth. Naruto was wearing a skimpy, black button shirt that already had most of its buttons open to expose his tan chest and baggy pants that hung loosely at his hips revealing a bit of his boxers, which were surprisingly, not orange or any other bright color but sexy black. Yes, holy shit, indeed.

Later Sasuke would wonder why the blonde was wearing casual clothing for a mission but let's worry about that when the question arises...

Naruto walked over tugging at his shirt as if he didn't want it on, Sasuke certainly didn't. Finally he grabbed Kakashi's book and started fanning himself.

"Hey, I was reading that," protested Kakashi. But Naruto just continued fanning himself and whined, "It's so hot!"

_Yes, you are Naruto_, he thought to himself. Kakashi gently took his book away and said, "It will be over soon, the heat."

_The heat? What does he mean by that? It was barely that hot anyway,_ he thought confused. _And why the hell was Kakashi smiling like that?_

He redirected his attention back to Naruto who walked up to them and greeted them distractedly, "Good morning."

"Morning," replied Sai with a yawn.

"Good morning, Naruto" said Sakura with a smile.

"Morning, dobe" he said recovering from his stupor.

"Whatever, teme. God it's soo hot," he replied distractedly without so much as a glance at Sasuke. _Oh no he did not just blow him off like that!_

"Hn," he said turning towards him. "What's wrong dobe? Is that the best come back you can come up with?"

"I don't have time to waste bickering with you," said Naruto turning his head towards him still pulling on his collar.

"Wow, dobe you've actually grown more mature over the years," said Sasuke in astonishment.

"Yeah well it sure doesn't seem like you have, brat!" growled Naruto his eyes flashing red for a second.

_Did Naruto just call me…a brat and…growl at me?_

Kakashi put a hand on Naruto's shoulder and he calmed down almost immediately. "Why are we still standing here? We should get going," said Naruto cheerfully as if nothing had happened. Sasuke looked at Kakashi and Sakura who just seemed unfazed by his behaviour and followed Naruto.

_What the hell?, _Sasuke thought as he followed them. And so started their mission with Kakashi up at front, Naruto and Sakura in the middle and Sai and Sasuke in the back. They spent most of their mission covering as much ground as possible taking little breaks now and then. Each time they took a break Naruto's face looked more flushed and feverish. Finally on their second day around the evening, Naruto suddenly collapsed. Sasuke ran over when he saw him fall to the ground but stopped abruptly when he saw the scene in front of him. Naruto was on the ground, panting for air, his face flushed with a high fever. Upon seeing him, Sasuke blushed slightly as he noticed how erotic it looked but he immediately squashed those thoughts and went to his side. _Naruto could be dying you idiot! Now is not the time to be thinking about this._ Sakura sat there frantically trying to do something to help with her medical skills but nothing worked. The fever wouldn't go down.

"Sakura, what's wrong with him?" asked Sasuke worriedly.

"I don't know. He has an abnormally high fever," she said dabbing his forehead with a wet cloth.

Sai finally arrived at the spot after noticing that Sasuke ran off in that direction. His eyes widened when it fell on that of the blonde.

"It came really early, didn't it?" he mumbled to himself. Sasuke got up and looked at the look-alike and asked, "What came early? What are you talking about?"

But Sai just looked at him emotionlessly and said, "I'm going to go get Kakashi." And before Sasuke could do anything about it he had left. He went back to the blonde and placed a hand on his arm, it felt boiling hot to the touch. _Dobe, what's wrong with you? You never got sick before…_

Naruto's hand reached out for his and he said in an almost lusty way, "_Sasuke_-_kun_, _make it stop…the heat…it's so hot Sasuke-kun_"

Sasuke couldn't help but feel the heat rising in his face. _Since when did he call me Sasuke-kun?_ he thought. _And why did he have say it in that oh-so-sexy voice? Now little Sasuke-kun is trying to come out to play! (Not that he was in any way little) No, bad boy! Down! Down, I say!_

Even Sakura blushed when she heard his voice her mind reeling from perverted thoughts of the blonde that she used to be so annoyed of. Sure he was still the annoying, loud blonde but now he was the _hot_ annoying, loud blonde. She nervously went back to dabbing his forehead with the wet cloth pushing those perverted thoughts away.

"_Sasuke_-_kun_," he continued and said almost pleadingly. "_Please…I need…"_

"You need what, Naruto?" asked Sasuke leaning in closer.

"…_I need_-"

"Water!" interrupted Kakashi springing in out of nowhere. Sasuke almost fell back and hit the floor at the sudden interruption. But being an Uchiha, he kept his cool but Sakura wasn't as fortunate, as she shrieked and almost jumped out of her skin. "Yes, you need lots and lots of water to keep down that fever. Now go get some, Sasuke!"

"Huh?" was the first response that came to mind.

"Water, Sasuke. Now get to it! We're setting up camp here until Naruto's all better," he said in a cheerfully strained voice. "And Sakura! Gather firewood!"

"Hai," they both replied as they took off. The last thing he saw was Kakashi talking to Sai in a serious tone.

Sasuke luckily found a small stream nearby quickly and went back to go tell Kakashi. He found Kakashi setting up the tents while Sakura tended to the fire. He looked around for the blonde and found that bastard Sai carrying him into the tent with a smirk on his face. _What the hell does that bastard think he's doing!_, he screamed mentally as his fists shook with fury. He stomped his way over there but was stopped by Kakashi who stood in front of him and asked, "Soo, did you find any water?"

Sasuke tried to look past him to see if that asshole came out of the tent or not. "Yeah, yeah," he said distractedly. "There's a small stream over there somewhere." He pointed at some random direction.

"Where exactly?" asked Kakashi raising an eyebrow.

"Just beyond that hill," he said frowning as he noticed that Sai had still not come out of the tent. "Yeah just go straight that way-"

_Moaning_. He heard _moaning_ coming from the tent.

"A-and you see this big rock," he tried to continue but it was getting louder and louder. "You take a left and- OK WHAT THE HELL IS SAI DOING WITH NARUTO IN THAT TENT?!"

The whole forest heard his infuriated outburst as they all ran away or flew away from the deadly aura that he was emitting. Kakashi just scratched the back of his head nervously and said, "Nothing, geez why are you so suspicious?"

"Suspicious? I'm not suspicious," he denied quickly.

"Really? Sounds like your jealous," said Kakashi with a grin.

"Shut up, Kakashi" he said pushing past him. He was not in the mood for Kakashi's mind games. Kakashi jumped in front of him again and said, "Naruto really needs his rest, you shouldn't disturb-"

Sasuke just kept on walking ignoring Kakashi. "You shouldn't just _barge_ in their _tent_, _Sasuke_!" Kakashi yelled unusually loud, even though Sasuke was just few feet away from him. _Tch, whatever, _he walked to the tent pulled open the cover to find…

Nothing sexual going on at all…just a really uncomfortable blonde with numerous, heavy blankets on top of him. He struggled under the blankets that constrained him while Sai hurriedly tried to cover him up even more. Kakashi rushed in and sighed in relief, "See, you just worried for nothing. Naruto has to sweat out the fever or it will never get better. Come on, Sasuke let's go."

"But why is _he_ taking care of him? Why not Sakura?" asked Sasuke glaring daggers at Sai who seemed unfazed by it and just stared back with a bored expression.

"Because if we leave her here, Naruto might jump her and then we have to worry about her getting pregnant and…." Kakashi muttered under his breath.

"What?" asked Sasuke, he was too busy glaring at Sai that he didn't hear what Kakashi said.

"Oh nothing," said Kakashi waving his hands nonchalantly. "Sakura needs her rest. And so do we. Come on I'm sure Sai will take good care of Naruto."

Sasuke walked out grudgingly, sulking that Sai got to spend time with Naruto and not him. What he didn't notice was Kakashi winking at Sai before he left.

-x-x-x-

It was nightfall now and Sasuke was still awake worried about what that bastard Sai was doing with Naruto. He rolled over and tried to go to sleep but his thoughts kept going back to the blonde and that asshole Sai. He sat up and decided to take a walk. He walked out into the cold chilly night and pulled his shirt closer. _It was quiet, too quiet._ He looked at the direction of Naruto's tent and narrowed his eyes. He knew for a fact that dobe snores in his sleep. _Then that must mean…_ He walked over and examined the tent. _A silencing jutsu?_ He frowned and did the hand signs to break the jutsu. The minute he did he put his ears closer to the tent and heard the most unusual sounds coming from inside the tent. Almost like… _animalistic_ _growls_.

"Sasuke?"

"Ahhh!!" he screamed clutching his chest as his heart threatened to burst out of his chest. He turned and glowered at Kakashi who just smiled apologetically. "Why the hell did you sneak up on me?!"

"Sorry," said Kakashi. "I just came to tell you that it's your turn to keep watch."

"Oh right," said Sasuke feeling foolish.

"I'm going to go tell Sai to take a break," said Kakashi heading inside the tent. A moment later, Sai walked out of the tent with a slight limp. Sasuke quirked an eyebrow at him and asked, "Why are you limping like that?"

Sai looked over at him with his expression-less face and said, "My leg fell asleep…from sitting so long."

_Right…_he thought disbelievingly. Something seemed so wrong about this picture, kind of like when Kabuto would come out Orouchimaru's bedroom with a limp in the morning. His eyes widened as it finally clicked in his mind. _That couldn't be it…could it?_

He slowly made his way back to the tent. He couldn't hear anything coming from inside the tent and guessed that Kakashi probably put the silencing jutsu back up. That just made him even more suspicious. His fingers trembled in anticipation as he reached for the cover. Just as he was about to pull the cover away, a voice behind him startled him making him clutch his chest again as he almost got a heart attack for the second time that day.

"Uchiha," said the voice. He swirled around quickly still clutching his thundering chest and found that it was Gaara of the Sand. Gaara smirked at him when he found him clearly scared out of his wits.

"What's wrong Uchiha? Did I frighten you," he said with a snarky grin.

"Hn," he said with a grunt immediately gaining his composure back. "What the hell are you doing here? We were going to get there in a day anyways."

"Shukaku was getting restless, he says I needed to get to Naruto fast before _it_ escalates," said Gaara after a moment's pause.

"_It_?" asked Sasuke. "What's wrong with him?"

"He's in Heat," replied Gaara simply.

"Heat…? As in what wild animals get?"

"Kyuubi," Gaara reminded him, when all he got was a blank stare he added, "The nine-tailed _fox_."

"Oh right, but still, only females can…unless Kyuubi is…"

"Female," finished Gaara. He stared at him exasperatedly as he mentally counted to three for all this information to filter throught Sasuke's little mind.

They stared at each other for a few minutes before Sasuke spoke slowly, "So you mean to tell me that… there is a _really_ _horny_ Naruto inside there…with my _pervert_ of a teacher?"

"Yep."

"Oh, of course…thought so...KAKASHI!"

Sasuke turned around right when Kakashi was coming out of the tent. He glared heatedly at him as he noticed that he was half-naked, carrying a…_OH HELL NO!,_ he mentally screamed his left eyebrow twitching uncontrollably. Kakashi was carrying a_…completely_ naked Naruto in his arms. His lips twitched at the way Naruto had his arms around Kakashi so _clingingly_. The next thing that Naruto did made Sasuke drop his jaw in indignation. He started _kissing_ and _licking_ his chest, making little love marks everywhere his lips touched.

"Onegai…sensei….more…" he heard Naruto mewl softly to Kakashi caressing his cheek lovingly.

_More? You want more?! How much did you get in the first place?!_

"There'll be a lot more with me Naruto," said Gaara stepping forward.

_With you? What do you mean with you?!_

"Don't bang him up too much, you remember what happened last time," said Kakashi smirking.

_Last time? Last time!! There was a last time?!_

"It won't happen this time. I'll try to control myself but it's hard when it just gets better and better each time," said Gaara coolly, reaching over to caress Naruto's body who shivered at the touch and sighed lustfully.

'_Better and better each time'? JUST HOW LONG HAS THIS BEEN GOING ON?!_

"Yeah, remember that one time with all three of us? Good times, _goood_ times," said Kakashi reminiscing. Sasuke just about snapped right there.

"What kind of a sick, perverted and _immoral_ 'thing' is going on here?!" Sasuke spat out in disgust, stressing on the word immoral while shooting a glare at Kakashi.

"You don't understand-" Kakashi tried to say, as if there was nothing wrong with what he was doing.

"You are all sick. Taking advantage of Naruto when he's in that condition!" said Sasuke reproachfully.

"You're over-reacting Uchiha-" Gaara said rolling his eyes, as if to say 'Like you wouldn't have done the same thing'

"_I'm_ over-reacting? -"

"Sasuke-"

"While you guys have sick threesome orgies with poor-"

"_Sasuke-_"

"_-_innocent Naruto who is just a _little_ horny-"

"SASUKE!" yelled Gaara and Kakashi.

"What!" Sasuke yelled back. Kakashi sighed and started to explain whilst trying to keep a certain feisty blonde's hands away from his crotch,

"Kyuubi is the one in heat not Naruto. She's the one having these desires and she needs to have to some sort of target to acquire what she wants and that's what we are: targets. Because at one time or the other Naruto has had crushes on us and she has that mental image of us and she's fulfilling her needs through him that's all. He's not going to remember any of this in the morning anyway. Look, this is a really weak moment for him and he is really vulnerable as it becomes very hard to contain Kyuubi. The more the desire is, the more he loses control over Kyuubi. That's why we have to satisfy that want or Kyuubi will gain control."

"Oh," said Sasuke quietly, his eybrows still twitching as he watched Naru-no _Kyuubi_ trying to slip hi- er _her_ hands into Kakashi's pants."How long has he been having it?"

"For about three years now. He nearly raped Gaara when he was in Konoha for a diplomatic meeting," said Kakashi chuckling, getting ahold of Naruto's hands before they could complete their journey down his pants. "Nearly gave the old counsel members a heart attack."

"Hn," said Gaara the edge of his lips curving into a smile.

"That's about as much excitement that they've seen in about thirty years," said Kakashi with a light laugh. "You guys broke the table didn't you?"

"Hm, yeah sorry about that," said Gaara.

But Sasuke wasn't paying attention to them. He furrowed his brows in thought. Three years ago was when he left.

"W-was it after the chuunin exams?" he asked softly.

"Yeah in fact it was a month after you 'left' that he started going into heat around his thirteenth birthday or something. It was like his way of hitting puberty I guess," said Kakashi.

"So let me get this straight…right after I left Naruto started going into heat and started having sex with whomever he so much as thought was cute…?" asked Sasuke in a calm voice his bangs falling over his eyes creating an eerie shadow over them.

"Yep."

"So…for three years…you guys have slept with Naruto without him even _knowing _about it?" asked Sasuke raising his voice a little.

"Well yeah," said Kakashi with a shrug.

"I only have one question to ask you," he said as he lifted his head and shouted in utter indignation. "WHY WASN'T _I_ INFORMED OF THIS?!"

There was a silence as the two of them tried to comprehend what was being said to them by the frenzied Uchiha. Gaara was the first to speak as he raised an eyebrow and said in a sarcastic tone,

"In case you've forgotten, _Uchiha_. You betrayed your village and lived with Orouchimaru for two years, _dumbass_. How the hell were we supposed to tell you about it?"

Gaara crossed his arms and shot him a look of disdain. That's right, he was with Orouchimaru. Two years it took him to figure out that it was a pretty shitty idea to join up with Orouchimaru. And he had actually had the gall to think that Naruto had it worse without him. When all the while Naruto was having sex with all the eligible bachelors in Konoha! _One of them could have been me! Hell I was the number one sought after bachelor in all of Konoha before I left!_

He sobbed inwardly at his misfortune. _Three years…three years…I could have had hot, passionate sex with Naruto in those three years!_

Kakashi and Gaara stared worriedly at the immobile body of Sasuke. Kakashi waved a hand at Sasuke, still no response. Gaara stepped forward, stared at him for a little while before extending his arm and _bitch_ _slapping_ him across the face.

Sasuke reeled from the slap. That brought him back to reality. But they still didn't get a response from him, well not the expected response anyways. He just sighed dejectedly and mosied his way towards the forest mumbling, "...three years...three years..."

_End Flashback_

-x-x-x-

That brings us back to the present where he's currently bashing his head into the tree while muttering, "…three years…three _fucking_ years…"

He heard rustling behind him and he knew just who it was by the chakra signature. But he didn't even bother turning around to acknowledge the person and just stood there banging away.

"Somehow I knew I'd find you doing something like this," he heard Kakashi say behind him.

"Shut. Up. Kakashi." he said in between bangs. **–A/N "ok somehow this part came out really perverted, sorry it sounded better in my head but then again…I am a pervert…"-**

"Come on, stop beating yourself up. Literally," he added as an afterthought.

Sasuke suddenly whirled around with his sharingan spinning wildly. "So were you his first, Kakashi?" he asked him, venom dripping in his voice. "Were you the first to take his virginity?"

"Wha-?"

"Or was it Neji. Yeah I bet it was him. Fucking pretty boy. I saw him looking at him like that during the chuunin exams," he said bitterly.

"Sasuke, you don't know what you are talking about," said Kakashi laughing at him.

"Why the hell are you laughing at me?" he growled out.

"Did you- did you really think- that _Kyuubi_ would allow a – _human_ to dominate her?" he said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"Huh? But Naruto can't be-"

"Sure he looks like a complete uke but when he's in Kyuubi mode he's a total seme," said Kakashi proudly. _Of course, Sai was the one limping._

"But you told Gaara-"

"Not to bang him up too much? Last time, Gaara had dug his fingernails in so deep on Naruto's back that it left a number of scars and a very confused and frightened Naruto the morning after. He claimed that it was the work of ghosts and we had to convince him somehow that ghosts didn't exist and they weren't out to get him yada yada yada."

"So Naruto is still a virgin?" he asked furtively. He had to know. He had to know that some bastard hadn't claimed his virginity.

"Yeah he's still a virgin. And he still will be if Kyuubi has anything to say about it," said Kakashi shaking his head exasperatedly.

"So wait, then _you_ were-?"

"No, you damn brat," snapped Kakashi glaring at him knowing what he was about to say. "I've _never_ been uke. Not even with Kyuubi."

"Then what do you guys...?"

"Oh we do _other_ stuff," said Kakashi with a smile that made you wanna beg to know just what _kind_ of other stuff they did. "Do you wanna kno-"

"NO!" he snapped at him, the tick in his eyebrows returning.

"Okay, geez," he said holding up his hands in defense.

"Why didn't you tell me about it when I came back then?" he asked angrily.

"You spent the last year in house arrest and it wasn't like I could just pop in and say 'Hello Sasuke, how are you today? Do you want to have mind-blowing sex with Naruto while he's in heat?'"

"Coming from you, I would expect it," he retorted with a glare. Kakashi faked a pained look and said, "You wound me Sasuke."

"Cut the crap," he snarled at him. "So tell me how many partners has he had so far?"

"Well let's see almost all of Rookie 9, Genma was his favorite for a while, he banged Raidou in front of the hokage's office once, scared the shit out of Shizune this one time when he caught her alone in the hokage's office, he _raped_ Asuma who is probably the straightest, manliest man you will ever find, he's done nearly all the Akatsuki members at least twice _especially_ Itachi, who has this strange tendency to show up every single time he's in Heat…"

"_Itachi?!"_

"…in fact I'm surprised he hasn't shown up yet..."

"_Itachi _has had sex with Naruto?!"

"Oh yeah, he's had sex with him plenty of times" said Kakashi nodding.

"_Plenty??_"

"In fact he was his first one actually. Kisame and Itachi tried to kidnap him in the middle of a mission. And as we were fighting, Naruto just started ripping off Itachi's clothes all of a sudden and started making out with him," said Kakashi sighing happily. "It was the hottest thing I ever saw. It was a shame that I didn't have a camera though-"

"WAIT!" he interrupted him as something dawned upon him. Kakashi just pulled on his ear as he shot him an annoyed look. "What?"

Sasuke's face split into a creepy grin as he said, "You said Naruto still has his virginity, right?"

"Yes," he answered nervously a little unnerved by the grin on his face.

"And you said Itachi had plenty of sex with Naruto, right?" he asked, giddy with anticipation, his grin growing larger by the minute.

"Y-yes," he replied taking a step back from him nervously.

"So that means…Itachi was _uke_, right?"

"…yeah?"

-x-x-x-

The next five minutes transpired to be what could possibly be described as the most terrifying thing Kakashi had ever seen in his life. Any cute forest animal that happened to be in the vicinity ran away in terror at the ghastly cackling that emanated throughout the forest. Kakashi had immediately fled the scene screaming at the top of his lungs, "Run for your lives! He's finally cracked!!" Sakura and Sai both woke up from their respective tents when they heard the evil laughter, a tremor of fear running through them. Kyuubi/Naruto and Shukaku/Gaara stopped in the middle of their romp wondering what kind of horrible demon was making that sound that chilled them to the bone. And somewhere on the other side of the world Itachi sneezed in the middle of his meal, splattering his tomato soup all over Kisame's face.

Sasuke laughed for a whole ten minutes before he finally noticed that he had scared away Kakashi and most of the forest population. He blinked twice and cleared his throat making his way back to the camp area where the rest of his team was huddled in a corner rocking back and forth in fright. He merely ignored them and went back into his tent with a grin as wide as the Cheshire cat plastered on his face. He sighed happily as he laid down into his sleeping bag. _Itachi…an uke…._

He fell into another bout of laughter causing his teammates outside to tremble in terror. "AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!"

After laughing for about another fifteen minutes, and scaring the shit out of Kakashi, Sakura and Sai, he finally went into a blissful sleep. Yes life was good.

That is until he remembered that Gaara was still with Naruto somewhere doing only God knows what. He snapped upward and ripped his way out of the tent screaming,

"GAARA! YOU SON OF A BITCH! I'M GONNA FUCKING KILL YOU IF I FIND YOU DOING ANYTHING WITH _MY_ NARUTO!"

TBC…?

* * *

Er…do you guys want me to continue? Yes, no, maybe so? Or do you just want me to stop procrastinating and finish my other stories?

As usual read and review, but don't just review to answer the question above or to say update soon, say something about my story too, that's what a review is right? Well anyways if you do leave a review I will love you forever!


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